Can’t explain

There’s something within me that I can’t quite explain.

It is a kind of disquiet. Yet disquiet doesn’t fully explain the whole mix of emotions within. Tense? Could be. It’s something that tells me there’s more to being who I think I am meant to be.

Lord Jesus, help me understand. Help me overcome the resistance towards obedience. Lord, be patient with me, even if it takes years….


Second election of the year

Today, I voted again… For Singapore’s 7th president. This time round, all candidates had surnames of Tan. Interesting eh?

2011 sure is an eventful year for Singaporeans with 2 elections in place. This time round, voting seemed so natural and I knew my way at the polling station, unlike the first time when I voted during the General Elections.

The results will be announced soon but I know secretly everyone is looking forward to not just the results but also Mr. Yam Ah Mee’s “Pursuant to blahblahblah..” announcement. 😛

Only in Christ – Proud of my dear cousin!

As I sat there in the huuugggeeeee Suntec Convention Hall last Saturday, I felt excited. It was a graduation ceremony that all of us were willing and elated to attend.

Angie was graduating from theology school! She shared with me after the ceremony that this graduation was significant to her and certainly to her family because it was the first time she didn’t stop and run away from studying.

Looking back, we did see many failures and hurt, but this time round, it was victory. What’s better than victory? God-driven victory!

I am proud of my cousin and everyone in the family is truly happy for her as well. From a normal technical student to God’s graduate – and that is the highest honour! Such is the loving power of our awesome Jesus – that He can turn what might seem rotten into a beautiful blossom. This is the God who turns mistakes into wonderful things – our God – Christ Jesus!


Fulfilling Sunday

Very happy, satisfied and relieved about yesterday because I did the following few things:

1) Served on piano for Sunday Service. Prayed for the Spirit to be with me and I felt thankful and honoured to be part of bringing the congregation into God’s beautiful sanctuary.

2) Had another missions meeting in between my piano serving. Another thing settled (:

3) Hung out with Angie, Cindy and Sihui in Marina Square food court which was newly renovated. Talked and entertained one another quite thoroughly for more than 3 hours, talking about everything under the sun, and oh ya, Sihui’s craving for curry (which came right after she finished her big plate of spaghetti, 1 mango & prawn roll and half a bowl of red ruby dessert!).

4) Bought a LARGE Garrett’s CaramelCrisp & Almond popcorn at Citylink Mall which was shared with Angie. They were very nice to provide us a paper bag so we could split our LARGE popcron. It was bliss to taste the popcorn once again. I have been restraining myself from buying as it should be a once-in-a-few-months indulgence. So, was very happy when I landed my hands on one packet of caramel goodness! Woohoo.

5) Settled this strange request from a middle-aged guy who texted me more than one week ago about wanting to make friends with me. Calling him middle-aged is really a compliment to him. Anyway, I worked with this middle-aged guy in early August as he was in charge of AV materials when my department was organizing a lecture. On Saturday night, he called me (!!!) but thankfully I missed it. I told DR and he told me to call him back and clarify with him that I wasn’t comfortable with him calling my personal mobile line as the exchange of numbers was purely for work. But I forgot to return call. So, yesterday afternoon, he called me and I missed it again. I called back, deciding to settle it once.

Me: (in my best ah-lian voice) HELLO, WHO CALLED AH?

Weird Middle-aged Man: Ehh. Sorry I think I called the wrong number.

Me: -.-“”””

A few minutes later, he called me again!!! Bravely, I picked up the call. This is it.

Weird Middle-Aged Man (WMAM): Hello? Is this Esther?

Me: Yes I am.

WMAM: Hello ah… eh, this is W****. Do you still remember me?

Me: Eh.. ya?

WMAM: Oh I am calling just to find out whether you were.. Ehh.. satisfied with our services when you all came to organise your event at my side.

Me: Eh… It is a Sunday. I don’t think it is appropriate to call me regarding work on a weekend unless it is urgent. Could you call me on my office number, maybe tomorrow (Monday) and not on my personal number?

WMAM: Ohhhh okay ah. Anyway… did you receive my message last Saturday (the one where he texted, “I sincerely want to be your friend”)?

Me: Ya I did… (following DR’s advice) Actually, I am really not very comfortable with you calling me on my personal number as the exchange of numbers that time was purely for work purposes. I hope you understand and don’t call me on my personal line again. Thanks.

WMAM: Ohh okay. Can.. Thanks.

Me: Kthxbye.

I hung up the phone, heart pumping really hard. I did it! Got this weird guy off my back! Ewww. Thinking about it, I wasn’t giving him any ‘I-am-interested-in-you” vibes while working… I just sounded polite and kind. So, why did he misunderstand?!!

Just glad that the air was cleared. Told my mom and she was quite worried that he would stalk me. He better not or he will know my kicking prowess!!

Shall end this post with something nice – garrett’s popcorn in blue-striped packaging, like pyjamas! Haha

My letter to Singapore

Dear Singapore,

HAPPY 46th BIRTHDAY! I could vaguly remember you when you were 29, and I watched the parade, specially put together for you, when I was only 7 years old.

And yea, now you are 46. It just felt like yesterday you were still a young adult. But now, look, you are entering into your 50s soon. You are not old. Many now say life starts at 50!

I am sure in your course of 46 years, you have your fair share of ups and downs, praises and criticisms, advocates and detractors… Yet, you stood firm and took everything in your stride, allowing yourself not to stay stagnant but to move on.

Sometimes you move a little too fast and it makes me frustrated and confused. We have our fair share of arguments when you start to put down rules that do not take into account my feelings. Despite all these, I see the good in you and hence, it is often with pride when I tell others of you. I am proud of you, as my home country, because you have given me the opportunity and environment to grow up safe and well.

Many people simply don’t know how blessed we are to have you as our home country. Of course, we acknowledge there are many out there with countless criticisms of you, which might not sit well with you. But I am confident that with wisdom, you will listen to every of such voice, accept them and find a wise and kind way to deal with them. Just like a patient mother to her little questioning child, I hope you can continue to listen to us Singaporeans and allow us to slowly grow up the way that we should be – compassionate, confident and courageous.

Singapore, thank you for the wonderful 46 years. May the good Lord bless you abundantly in the many excellent years to come, so that your people may be of a blessing to others.

With cheers, Esther

Strawberry Cheesecake please

Tonight, I am craving for Haagen Daz’s strawberry cheesecake. Perhaps I shall buy one to commemorate our National Day. Ok, lame excuse. Hahaha.

Haagen Daz strawberry cheesecake ice-cream